USS Constitution Museum Comics

Over the course of the two and a half years I have worked at the USS Constitution Museum, I have done many, many drawings at the front desk while greeting visitors. I progressed from ship doodles to anchors to compasses, to sailors, and eventually cartoons about my fellow staff members and goings-on at the museum. They may read a bit like inside jokes, but nonetheless I am presenting them for your entertainment. You can read my explanations or just look at the drawings.

The first is called "The Broken Cannon" starring Derek and Orlando, who do maintenance around the museum. It also features our cannon exhibit, in which you learn about all of the different steps you go through in order to fire a cannon and then when you press the button to fire, the target screen lights up and tells you whether you hit the enemy ship or not. This exhibit is super cool and popular but has a habit of breaking and needing a lot of attention.

In case you can't read it, the cannon has an "out of order" sign and Derek says, "Not again! Darn thing breaks every other day!" He presses the button to fire and says, "Are you gonna work now?" The target screen says, "You shoot like a merchant vessel!" and Derek shakes his fist and says, "What did you say to me? I'll fix you this time, you stupid cannon!" He fires again and the target screen says, "Haha! NOW whose sides are made of iron?" Derek says, "Aaaargh!!!" and "Grrr!" and kicks the cannon. Orlando comes up and says, "Dude, let me try" and presses the button. The screen says, "It's a hit!" (which is what it is supposed to say) and Derek says, "Who are you, the Fonze?"

The second comic is called "Check Out My Tattoo!" starring the Museum Learning Staff (so basically the characters are me and my co-workers in my department). Again, in case it is too small to read, Gary is in the first panel, showing off his tattoos, "My first tattoo was the peace sign. Later I added the anchors, a mermaid, a seagull..." Then Tracy jumps in and says, "Oh Yeah? Well check out my tattoo! GO RAVENS!" (Tracy is from Baltimore). Then Michael says, "Oh yeah? Well check out my ship's biscuit tattoo! It says 'Bite me'!" Then I say, "Oh yeah? Well my tattoo is a pineapple with sunglasses" and then Susan says, "Oh yeah, well check out my tattoo! Tribal symbols!"Jennifer says, "Oh yeah, well check out my tattoo" (it is a skull with fire around it). Susan says, "What is that from again?" Jennifer says, "It's from when I was in that biker gang-- The Flaming Skulls!" Susan says, "Of course! The biker gang!" Chris jumps in and shows off his unicorn tattoo saying, "Oh yeah? Well check out my tattoo! Unicorns rule!" The final panel is Derek looking cross and saying, "You guys, your body is a temple. You know those will be on you forever, right?" 

This is funny because in real life Derek actually has more tattoos than any of us. Also, since the time I drew this comic, Chris got a real tattoo that I drew for him in basically the same spot that his cartoon self has a tattoo! His real tattoo is not a unicorn. 

The third is my most recent and nerdiest USS Constitution Museum comic. It is called "Who's on First-- Constitution Edition" and stars Pardon Mawney Whipple, who was a midshipman aboard USS Constitution during the War of 1812. He served in the Mediterranean after that on other Constitution cruises. We have a lock of his hair on display at the museum, which he left for his sweetheart back on shore as a token of his love. It sounds pretty creepy now, but that was totally a thing in 1812. I keep saying we should clone him since we have a DNA sample but exactly no one is on board with that idea. Anyway, none of that is relevant to understanding this comic. All you need to know to get the comic is that his name is Pardon, which is a rather unusual name that lends itself to lots of plays on words. 

The first panel is USS Constitution in the harbor with a sign directing new recruits on board. The we see a young Pardon Mawney Whipple shaking hands with the Captain (Probably Isaac Hull, but I'll admit, I didn't look it up). The Captain says, "Welcome aboard, what is your name?" Pardon says, "Pardon, sir!" The captain says, "I said: what is your name?" Pardon repeats, "Pardon." The captain says, "Pardon what?" Pardon says, "Mawney Whipple"The captain is frustrated and says, "Who is Mawney Whipple? For what do you want me to pardon him? AND WHAT ON EARTH IS YOUR NAME?" We pan out to see the two men on Constitution shouting at each other. Pardon says, "PARDON!" The captain says, "I SAID..." And that is where I ended it.

Really though, who names their kid Pardon? I guess "Mawney" is kinda weird too. But Puritans named their kids stuff like, "Diffidence" and "Elected" and "Humiliation." I would way rather be named Pardon than Humiliation. 

Future Screen Print

I just started a screen printing class as an elective for my illustration certificate with the Museum School. I have never screen printed anything before ever so I am really pumped to try out this new medium! Our first assignment was to make a drawing or painting that we will then learn to transform into a screen print series. This is only one method of screen print inspiration we will be exploring during the semester. We are learning two other approaches as well, one of which involves computers. 

This is my painting (acrylic on paper) that I will be basing the first screen printing assignment on. The USS Constitution Museum has me interested in nautical imagery these days!

I Love Markers

I recently acquired some fancy art markers. These aren't your average Crayola things, they are the highest quality, most fun markers I have ever touched. Nothing against Crayola of course, some of my greatest childhood masterpieces are done in Crayola. But these new markers? They are so smooth and vibrant. I love them. 

The winter is the slow season at the USS Constitution Museum, so while I was at the front desk waiting for visitors to arrive, I drew a sea monster lurking beneath a ship. My co-workers can verify: I draw a lot of sea monsters when I am at the front desk. Then I sketched a half-hour glass, which is an artifact from our collection. They kept time on early US Navy ships using these half-hour glasses. A watch lasted 4 hours and they would ring a bell to signal when each half-hour had passed.

The markers accompanied me to the MFA, where I did a cartoon copy of a Dutch Renaissance painting. I chose this painting because the woman looked incredibly grumpy and it made me think about how uncomfortable it must have been to pose for hours for a painting, wearing your best giant, frilly collar. I was also drawn to all the ornate frames, so I threw some of those in too.

And finally, in search of fresh ideas, I posed on facebook a request for things to draw. One friend suggested an angry lemur. Upon googling lemurs, I discovered they look sort of angry naturally, so it made my task easier. Then I got a suggestion to draw the coolest looking planet I could invent, which ended up with quite a lot of swirling masses, like Mars.

I have more plans for these markers. Just you wait!

No Firing at Random!

This Saturday I completed a painting for the USS Constitution Museum, where I now work one day per week. Because our visitation is slowing down with the winter season, we took the opportunity to focus on developing new programs and improving on existing ones. My project was to paint a battleship to accompany our educational program Boom which teaches museum visitors how cannons work through hands on demonstrations. Don't worry, we are only firing alka seltzer cannons, no shrapnel here! My battleship painting will, believe it or not, be used as the target for the alka seltzer cannons. I painted it in acrylic on a 46" x 70" (or so) wooden flat. I also included one of my initial sketches.

I am very happy with the way my painting turned out! So happy in fact that I may paint with acrylic more often. I studied painting with oils in college and I am also fond of watercolor. Two opposite ends of the spectrum of paint behavior, I know. Painting with watercolor is like controlling chaos, and while you can re-work it as much as you would like, every layer will be visible in your completed piece. The layers, transparencies, and unpredictability of the medium adds to the overall effect. Oils on the other hand, once you have the hang of them, give you complete control over your image and you can do so many lovely things with blending and texture. I like to mix some of my colors directly on my painting surface when I use oils. 

Acrylic is a medium I usually fight with. It dries so fast that there is barely an opportunity to blend colors the way I would with oils and getting the painting wet again doesn't allow me to re-work the paint like I can with watercolor. I thought of acrylic as the worst of both worlds. However this time, I think I got the hang of working with it. I believe there are also products like acrylic mediums that I can buy to help the paint dry the way I want it to. Also as it turns out, acrylic is significantly easier to photograph than oil. It is almost impossible to photograph an oil painting so that the colors look right and there is no glare, but taking a picture of this battleship? It came out perfectly.

Huzzah!

My latest project at the pottery studio was a success! I made a USS Constitution stamp in honor of the USS Constitution museum, where I work. I used the stamp to make many, many tiles. They came out great!!

 (Glaze: Pseudo Celadon)

 (Glaze: Mystery)

 (Glaze: Stormy Seas)

 (Glaze: Olive)

 (Glaze: Tenmoku)

 (Glaze: Plum)

And here is a mug I made!

Mmmm look at that glaze!

Hooray!